I am, admittedly, terrified of doing well. Also, conversely, afraid of failure. So I what? Strive for mediocrity?
Last night I jammed with the boys and found myself incapable of letting go and showing them what I can do; as though they don't already know.
I know I am talented
I know I will be supported
I know I will not be judged harshly
And yet,
I so want to impress them. All of them.
I CANNOT be mediocre; it's unacceptable.
I made a promise to a dying woman that I would do my best and I'm fearful of breaking that promise.
Why can't I just give my words to you and have you make me believe they're beautiful?
I need to escape, very badly.
