crutches

one day i'm going to be more than adequate
and i will stir this life with my teeth

i'll get up and mean it
and mean something at the same time
instead of meaning everything and by default
nothing
all the time

so one day
on my way out of adequacy
and into excellence
i'll get over everything that's holding me back
everything i'm settling without
and mean something
to maybe someone
if they can get past the list
of reasons
i always seem to have

how disjointed i am
how headached i am
how crippled i am by all this
how troubled i am
how deserving i am
of all of my lack of a bliss